Author's note: If you are offended by anything in this parody, I apologize. I've been told many times that I have a twisted sense of humor, and I can understand if you find this parody crude.
In Victoria's house hold....
"I feel pretty, oh so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and bright! I'm so pretty Miss America will have to resign!"
Victoria sang as she admired her self in the mirror. Her sleek, white fur was well brushed and not one hair was out of place. She was a beautiful cat indeed.
"VIIIICCTOOORRRIIIAAA!!!!" an operatic voice of a woman sang out.
Victoria turned her head. It was only her pudgy human-beast-thingy. Victoria ignored her, and sat on her cushion. She hated to be interrupted in the middle of admiring herself.
"Who's the pretty little kitty? Who's the pretty little kitty?" her human puckered its lips and a squishy sucking sound was produced from it.
Victoria rolled her eyes, turned her head, and shuddered as she walked out of the room. She pondered on whether she should go out side. She decided yes. "I guess I should grace the world with my presence," she thought.
Macavity sneaked around the city.
"Heh, heh, heh... who's my next victim?" he thought.
"To protect the world from devastation!" he heard someone say. He turned to see a magenta haired girl. Her hair was very similar to Don King's.
"To unite all peoples within our nation!" a blue haired boy carrying a rose appeared. Or was it a girl with a deep voice? He wasn't sure.
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!" Don King said.
"To extend our reach to the stars above!" the transvestite said.
"Jessie!" said the magenta haired one.
"James!" said the blue haired one. Macavity realized it was really just a fruity looking boy.
"TEAM ROCKET blast off at the speed of light!" Jesse said.
"Surrender now or prepare to fight!" James said.
"Meow! That's right!" A cross eyed looking cat appeared.
They looked right enough. Macavity was sure he could tackle them with one paw tied behind his back. He was right. He put them in a cage as well.
"Hey! Let us out! We didnít do nothing!" they screamed. Macavity ignored them and left them in the cage on the side of the road.
Etcetera had formed the most brilliant plan she had ever thought up to get Tugger. She had tried flirting, she had tried swooning, sheíd tried playing hard to get, but none of them worked. Now, this plan was inevitable. This plan was *dun, dun, dun!*: SUPER GLUE!
Don't be fooled by appearances. This clear, smelly, liquidy substance held a lot of power in it. Enough to make Tugger hers forever!
She spread her paws in the stuff.
"TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER! TUGGER!" she shouted until he finally came.
"What?! What?!" he ran to her aide. He was afraid she was hurt.
"Oh, nothing, just wanted to give you a hug!" Etcetera said as she leapt to hug Tugger, and remembering to place her paws right on his butt cheeks.
"Is that all?" Tugger asked in confusion.
"YUP!" Etcetera smiled triumphantly.
Tugger looked at her like she was a weirdo, but then realized what the smile meant. He was stuck to her, scratch that... she was stuck to him... scratch that too... she was stuck to his bum.
"Oh, gawd!!! Etcetera are you crazy?!?!" Tugger was horrified. No doubt about it, her mother would kill him!
"Iím crazy about you, Tugger!" Etcetera smiled brilliantly. She was giddy, she didn't know how to contain her happiness.
Tumblebrutus was singing old pirate songs that he'd remembered when he had been working for Growltiger.
"Sixteen cats on a dead mans chest, Yo, ho, ho, and a bottle of rum!" he sang deep and throaty.
"Aw, shut up!" Mistoffelees rolled his eyes and shouted at Tumblebrutus.
"But Misto!" Tumblebrutus whined. Unlike his singing voice which was very deep, his regular voice was high-pitched. It annoyed Mistoffelees.
"I said shut up! The all powerful conjuring cat demands absolute silence!" Mistoffelees said.
"To do what?" Carbucketty asked.
"You dare question me?!?!?!" Mistoffelees's eyes flashed an unhumanly shade of red. Lightning sparked from his finger tips bolted through Carbucketty. Mistoffelees cackled. Tumblebrutus backed off. Poor Carbucketty. Well, at least it explains his disapearance.
"Thereís nothing to do," Mungojerrie sighed. They had already stolen everything in the house. I mean everything... the only thing left was carpet.
"Hey, how about we go and steal the hope diamond?" Rumpelteazer suggested.
"We already got it a month ago..." Mungo explained.
"What about the crowned jewels?" Rumpel asked.
"Got it." Mungo answered.
"Elvis Presly's guitar?"
"King Tut's ancient tomb?"
"The scimitar of Ali Baba?"
"We've stolen just about everything, haven't we?"
"HELP!!!!!! GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!!!" James cried.
"Oh, quit your belly aching! No oneís listening, you moron!" Jessie rolled her eyes at her stupid sidekick. She never really liked him. In fact, she was planning on taking over the universe without him. The glory would be all hers...
"Meow, thatís right!" Meowth echoed.
"You shut up too!" Jessie bopped him on the head as the cheesy sound effect played. §BONK§ She never liked him either. It was her fruit of a sidekick that had wanted to have a cat.
Just then, two cats in conversation passed to see the threesome in a cage (Author's note: Not that kind of threesome!!! Get your mind outta the gutter!!!!). One cat was a responsible looking tabby, the other was large and old with a look of aged wisdom spread across his face.
"HHHEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP UUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Meowth shouted to the pair.
The old cat looked disturbed. "How did you get in there?" he questioned.
"A cat, a cat put us in here!" James cried.
"The human understands us!" the grey tabby was astonished.
"If we can understand this rodent, then of course we can understand you!" Jessie gestured to Meowth. She probably disliked cats more than her pea-brained sidekick.
"Hey!" Meowth objected.
"Please! Quiet yourselves! Now describe that cat," the tabby rolled his eyes.
"He was red with dusty fur!!!!" Jessie said.
"Macavity!" the tabby's eyes grew wide.
"LET US OOOOOOUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!" James cried.
"If you keep making that racket, we won't," the tabby said unlocking the cage.
"FOOLS!" Jessie cackled. They would be her first victims.
"Now, prepare for annihilation!" James pointed his laser at the older cat.
"MEOW! Thatís right!" Meowth said.
"Is that the only thing you ever say?" Jessie asked the dumb cat. §BONK!§ She hit him over the head with her laser.
The two cats looked exchanged worried glances as the trio grinned evilly.
"Listen up, Gumbie! We aren't going to do any of your chores for you any more! We want out!" Limburger, the ambassador of the mice told Jennyanydots.
"Pardon me?" Jenny was very shocked that her little mice would ever protest.
"You heard us! We're on strike, unless our demands are met!" Mozzarella, another mouse, shouted out.
"Well, then, you mice will just have to tell me what your demands are," Jenny trying to be rational with the little rebels.
"Well... first, you must find us a *dun, dun, dun!*: shrubbery. And it has to be a nice one too. In the shape of Mighty Mouse!" Limburger ordered.
Jenny knew it would be difficult to find what they wanted, but she'd rather find them a Mighty Mouse shrubbery than be out doing chores.
Macavity felt that someone had let the freak show out of the cage, and he returned to find Munkustrap and Old Deuteronomy being held at gun point. He really didn't care about the two, but he hated to see his prisoners escaping.
"Are you really sure you want to annihilate us?" Munkustrap asked them.
"If I hear another word out of you, I swear I'll shoot!" James pointed the gun in Munkustrap's face.
Macavity somehow managed to find a rope and tie them all up and put them back in the cage. "Don't let them out again!" Macavity warned.
"LEEETTTT MMEEEEEE OOOOOUUUUUUUTTTTTTT!!!" James cried. §BONK!§ Jessie had whapped her sidekick across the face.
"Macavity! You saved us! We owe you our lives!" Munkustrap and Deuteronomy groveled at his feet.
"This requires you a promotion! You are no longer an outcast to our tribe! You will be appointed as co-leader with Munkustrap!" Deuteronomy announced.
"Yes! Yes! I'm sure all the other cats will accept you once we announce your courage and bravery!" Munkustrap agreed.
Macavity was taken aback by this strange gesture of gratitude, but agreed anyway.
Read Part 2
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