The Jellicle Parody

Written by: Cinderkitty


In the kittens' playground....

"Oh gawd, oh fart! What am I going to do, what am I going to do????" Tugger paced back and forth with Etcetera still clinging to his bum.

"Hee, hee, hee! I am glue, I'm not rubber, so now I am stuck, on the bum of Tugger!!!" Etcetera giggled.

Just then, Jellylorum came to see her kitten stuck to the bum of a maned tom.

"What is the meaning of this?!?!?!" Jellylorum exclaimed.

"I'm stuck to Tugger's bum!" Etcetera giggled. Jellylorum fainted. Tugger screamed.

Back to Victoria....

The beautiful white kitten-cat was sitting out on the veranda, when who should appear? A miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer... (Author's note: Umm, no, not really)... who should appear, but: Plato!

"Hi there, Victoria," Plato said smoothly.

"Oh... it's just... you," Victoria rolled her eyes. He was wonderful when he made love to her... but she hated him.

"What's the matter, sweetness?" he came closer.

"You've been drinking again, haven't you?" Victoria pushed him away.

"Only a little bit of whiskey... and a six pack of beer, there was a martini too... and a little bit of bourbon, but, it wasn't much!" Plato put his arm around her drunkenly.

"What part of 'NO!' don't you understand?" Victoria wriggled out from under his arm and started mewing at the door. Her bulbous human came out.

"What is the meaning of this! Get away from my baby, you mongrel!" the human whapped Plato upside his head with a broomstick. ¤BONK!¤ And Plato ran away.

Back at to the conjuring turn...

Mistoffelees was burning some incense and a putrid smell was produced from it, Tumblebrutus was crying in a corner because Mistoffelees wouldn't let him sing, and Carbucketty's charred remains were splattered across the alley. Just then, Admetus walked by.

"Whoa! What's that smell?" Admetus came into the alley.

"SILENCE!" Mistoffelees ordered glaring at Admetus.

"What's *cough!* the matter *cough, cough!* with him! *cough, cough, cough!*" Admetus pointed to Tumblebrutus.

"Okay, didn't I just say 'SILENCE!'??? Do you want to end up like Carbucketty over there?" Mistoffelees got ready to make another lightning bolt.

"Uhhh...*cough, cough, cough*" Admetus fainted from the incense, but no one cares because Admetus is a stupid name. And we all know what happens to cats with stupid names... other cats plot out to kill them.

Back with Team Rocket...

"HEEEEELLLLLPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!" James was crying again. ¤BONK!¤ Jessie had hit him over the head again. James passed out cold. Poor James

"Hey, why'd ya do that?" Meowth asked. ¤BONK!¤ Meowth passed out cold. Poor Meowth. Jessie grinned. It was the first time since she came here that she was happy.

Meanwhile, Jennyanydots was trying to find a shrubbery...

"Hello, K-Mart, this is Sarah speaking..." a nasally voice answered the phone.

"Ahh, yes, do you have any shrubberies?" Jenny asked.

But Jenny was a cat, and the lady working at K-Mart was a human, so what Jenny was saying, ended up sounding like this:
Reow, reow, mew mEoW *hiss* Reow?

"That's it! I'm sick of this! I hate working here!" Sarah shouted. She had had one prank call too many, she quit working at K-Mart and became a waitress at Hooters.

So, Jennyanydots, continued calling stores to see if they had shrubberies.

At the Friend at Hand....

Plato was depressed. Victoria had dumped him, obviously. He swigged down another shot of tequila. He was feeling sort of dizzy.

Bustopher walked into his favorite pub. "I'll have some cabbage and rice pudding please," he ordered.

Plato was so drunk, he couldn't see straight, but he did see something. The most angelic creature he'd ever laid eyes upon. It was love at first site for Plato. She was black and white, a little chubby, but he could deal with that.

"Hey, there, beautiful!" Plato's speech was slurred.

"Excuse me?" Bustopher looked over at the strange tom.

"Ya wanna skip all that and rub my shoulders?" Plato swaggered and stumbled over to Bustopher.

Bustopher looked at him, horror-stricken. He started to run out.

"Wait! Come back!!!!" Plato yelled running after his angel.

Going back to Victoria Grove.....

"The Taj Mahal?" Rumpel was naming things off.

Mungo nodded.

"Dang!" Rumpel cried out.

"What?" Mungo asked.

"I broke a nail." Rumpel explained, then continued to name other valuable things.

Meanwhile with Munkustrap, Macavity, and Deuteronomy....

"Are you sure the others will accept me?" Macavity asked self consciously.

"Quite positive, and if they don't... well... they will,” Munkustrap cackled. "Uhh... I mean, don't worry about it..."

Deuteronomy patted Macavity on the shoulder and left to eat some Strasbourg pie.

On the other side of the kittens' playground...

"Hi, I'm Jemima..." the cute little kitten bounced around.

"You're cute," Pouncival bounced around with her. Jemima giggled.

"Thanks," Jemima giggled.

Pouncival staggered to the ground "She's... too... cute... it's killing me..." he fainted.

"Oops... did I do that?" Jemima fluttered her eyelashes.

Meanwhile, with the conjuring cat...

Mistoffelees was still burning the incense. Alonzo, Bombalurina, Demeter, Coricopat, and Tantomile had passed out from the smell. Now, it was time to worry because their names weren't that stupid.

Just then, Munkustrap, Macavity, and Deuteronomy came in. Demeter would've hissed and said 'Macavity!' but she had passed out.

"YOU KILLED CARBUCKETTY!!" Munkustrap scolded Mistoffelees.

"Whoops," Mistoffelees shrugged.

"And Admetus, Alonzo, Bombalurina, Demeter, Coricopat, and Tantomile are unconcious too!" Munkustrap wagged his finger in Mistoffelees’s face.

"Whoops," Mistoffelees pouted. It wasn't his fault that they had been stupid enough to come into the junkyard.

"Now, Misto, stop burning that stink weed! We have some important news! Macavity will be our new co-leader!" Deuteronomy announced.

"Who is that cat in the corner there?" Macavity asked.

"Umm, I think it's Tumblebrutus..." Mistoffelees answered avoiding eye contact with the three leaders.

Meanwhile Jenny's mice had a plan brewing...

"Listen to me mice! We are not inferior to humans! We are not inferior to cats! I say we forget the shrubbery and take over the WORLD!!!!" a white mouse with a big head stood at a podium and lectured Jenny's mice.

"Narf! Brain's right!" a goofy looking mouse stood along side of the big-headed mouse called Brain.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to interrupt me, Pinky?" Brain yelled at the tall mouse, Pinky.

"Narf! Sorry, Brain!" Pinky apologized. (Author's note: According to Darwin's "Survival of the Fittest" theory, Pinky could have easily killed Brain. Looks like your theory's wrong, Charlie...)

"Anyway... on with my plan to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!" Brain commanded as the mice cheered.

Back to Bustopher and Plato....

"LEAVE ME ALONE!!! GET AWAY!!!!" Bustopher yelled running.

"Come on, baby, you know you want me!!!!" Plato stuttered chasing after Bustopher.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Bustopher screamed and kept running. Despite his weight, he was running like an Olympian.

Go on to Part 3!!!

Read Part 1

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