The Jellicle Parody

Written by: Cinderkitty


Back to the other side of the playground....

"My name is Jemima... aren't I the cutest??" Jemima bounced around the playground. Pouncival was lying dead on the ground. Poor Pouncival. Jemima had killed him with cuteness.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! DON'T TOUCH MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!" Bustopher ran across the playground at light speed.

"Oooh, baby... I like it when you play hard to get!!!!!!" Plato chased after the Brummel of cats.

"What was that?" Pouncival woke up from the dead to see Plato chasing Bustopher.

"I don't know...but I do know that I'm Jemima!" Jemima bounced around.

"GAh... *choke*.... too... *wheeze*... cute...*croak*" Pouncival died again. Poor Pouncival.

Back at the site of the Super Glue....

"Come on, Tugger, let's tell everyone what happened to us!!!" Etcetera was referring to her paws on his butt cheeks.

"Here's a suggestion: how about we don't?" Tugger rolled his eyes. He was getting pretty darned sick of Etcetera now. At first, she was cute, but now, she was the demon brat from hell.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE MEEE ALONE!!!!!" Bustopher ran into the scene.


"That was odd..." Jellylorum woke up from fainting.

"You said it mom... Look, I'm stuck to Tugger's bum!" Etcetera changed the subject.

"I've had it with you Etcetera! GET OFF OF ME!!!!" Tugger was close to hitting her.

"Well, it is very coincidental: I happen to have a pair of scissors with me!" Jellylorum said as she started to cut the fur off of Tugger's behind. Tugger was finally free from Etcetera. One minor, he was a bald-butted tom.

Meanwhile at the Jellicle Junkyard....

"We must get all the other cats to tell them the news! We'll have a Jellicle Meeting! Spread the word!!!!!!" Munkustrap ordered.

"Hey... what's going on... I feel kinda funny..." Alonzo got up as did the others.

"See, I told you they weren't dead," Mistoffelees stuck his tongue out at Munkustrap.

"That's enough from you, Misto... Now, go find the other cats and spread the word!" Deuteronomy ordered.

"What do I do?" Macavity asked.

"Uhhh... I dunno, I guess we all just stand here until the narrator decides to change the scene..." Deuteronomy shrugged.

Five minutes later...

"The narrator still hasn't changed the scene...." Macavity gave Deuteronomy a 'you were wrong, you moron!' sort of look.

"Hmm, I wonder why..." Munkustrap said.

Tumblebrutus came out from his corner. I bet you forgot all about him... don't lie, it's easy to forget cats with stupid names. Anyway, he came out of his corner and started to sing.

"Sixteen cats on a dead man's chest, Yo, ho, ho, and a bottle of rum!" Tumble sang deep and throaty.

"Shut up!" the three cats shouted. Poor Tumble, he went back to his corner to cry some more.

"Oh! I know! Something's supposed to happen, and that's why we're standing here!" a lightbulb blinked at the top of Deuteronomy's head. (Author's note: Right, you are, Deuteronomy! Here's a piece of Strasbourg pie for ya!)

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bustopher ran across the Jellicle Junkyard.

"I WILL CHASE YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH!!!!!!!!!" Plato sang out as he chased him.

"Is that what was supposed to happen?" Munkustrap asked crossing his arms. (Author's note: Yup, sure was!) He was mad at the narrator. They had waited all that time just to see a fruit chasing the Brummel of cats. Poor Munkustrap.

Back with the Gumbie and the mice...

"After searching high and low, I have finally found your shrubbery!" Jennyanydots held up the shrubbery which was shaped in the form of Mighty Mouse.

The mice, forgetting the brainwashing that Brain had given them, gave three cheers for the Gumbie Cat.

"For she's a jolly good fe-el-low......" cried they.

"Thank you, my dears!!!" Jenny smiled and bowed.

"Wait! Wait! Wait!!!!!!!!! I thought we agreed to forget the shrubbery and TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!" Brain cried.

"Narf! It's a nice shrubbery, though..." Pinky protested.

"Nice shrubbery, schmice shrubbery... when we TAKE OVER THE WORLD, you'll have all the shrubberies you want!!!!!!!" Brain yelled.

"You are one bad mouse!!!! Out you go!!!!!!" Jenny kicked him into the next tomorrow. ¤BONK!¤ Poor Brain.

Anyway Mistoffelees came and told her to get her big butt off the ground and to go to the Jellicle Meeting.

Back to Victoria Grove...

"We can't steal anything; what else is there left to do?" Rumpel sprawled across the side walk.

"How about we... nah..." Mungo was going to suggest to kidnap U.S. president's daughter, but she was ugly as a mug... no one would pay more than five bucks to get her back. (Author's note: If you look like Chelsea Clinton, or if you are Chelsea Clinton, I apologize.)

"What about we..... no... that wouldn't work out..." Rumpel was going to suggest that they try to straighten out the Leaning Tower of Piza, but then remembered that they were the reason why it started leaning.

"Hey! Why don't we make out?" Mungo asked brightly. (Author's note: If you think Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer are brother and sister, you're wrong. They aren't because I say so.)

"Sounds like a good idea to me!" Rumple agreed.

But right when they were going to start making out, Mistoffelees came. (Author's note: Sorry, but this is PG story... no making out here.)

"We have a Jellicle Meeting, you must go to the Jellicle Junkyard now," Mistoffelees in a mechanical monotone sort of voice. He was bored. Having to tell jellicles about meetings was boring. Zapping jellicles, and telling them to shut up was fun, and making them pass out from incense was fun.

"Hey, guys... wait a second..." Mistoffelees was about to zap the two, just for the fun of it. (Author's note: But what would we do without our rascally duo?). Right when he was about to zap them, he found that his powers were out. "Stupid narrator!" he said. Oh, well, too bad for him. So instead he plugged his power pack into the nearest electrical outlet to recharge them.

Meanwhile with the bald butted cat....

"What are the queens going to think now? Thanks to Etcetera, I'm hairless on my rear!!" Tugger had on a long trenchcoat and sunglasses in order to disguise himself.

"Oh, hey, Tugger, we have a Jellicle Meeting..." Mistoffelees came up to him.

"I'm not Tugger... I'm Bugger... yeah, I'm Bugger..." Tugger made up. He isn't very clever, as you can tell.

"Oh, really? Then that must make me the Tooth Fairy, right?" Mistoffelees rolled his eyes. "Anyway, Jellicle Meeting, you have to be there now."

Back to the cute cat....

"Moonlight... turn your face to the moonlight!" Jemima sang to the sun. Pouncival was still dead. Poor Pouncival.

"Hey, did you kill Pouncival?" Electra dared to speak. She wasn't allowed to say anything except 'with book and with bell', but she took her chances anyway.

"I didn't mean to... he said I was too cute... then he died..." Jemima said bouncing around.

"You...*gasp*... are... too cute...*wheeze*" Electra was beginning to loose her breath. Now, Jemima's cuteness was killing Electra too, but before Electra could die, Mistoffelees came.

"Don't even think about talking..." Mistoffelees warned Jemima, ready to use his newly recharged powers. "Now, there's a Jellicle Meeting right now and you have to be there...." he said quickly then teleported away.

"Wow! He's a conjuring kitty!" Jemima said in her cutest voice possible. That really killed Electra.

Back to Team Rocket...

"I'm going crazy, I just can't speak! I'm so excited that I'm in too deep! Who-oa-oa, crazy! But it feels alright. Baby, thinking of you keeps me up at night!" Jessie sang in the cage. Her voice was squeaky and nasally at the same time. People were dumping money into the cage to stop her from singing.

James and Meowth began to wake up, when a cat appeared out of thin air.

"Hey, we have a Jellicle Meeting... wait! You're not a jellicle... never mind I said that!" the tuxedo marked cat vanished.

"WAIT!!!!!!! WAIT!!!!!!!! GET UUUUUSSSSS OOOOOOUUUUUUUTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!" James banged on the bars of the cage. ¤BONK!¤

"Meow, that's right!" Meowth said doing the same. ¤BONK!¤

Jessie smiled. "Hit them, baby, one more time!" she sang.

Back to the splendour of the white kitten-cat.....

Victoria was grooming. She chuckled when she thought of Plato chasing Bustopher. Poor Bustopher. It was better that he was chasing Bustopher instead of her, though.

Mistoffelees stopped to watch the white kitten-cat. Everyone always thought that they liked each other for some reason. They put on the fasaud so that the other jellicles wouldn't suspect that they hated each each other with a passion. The reason they were sworn enemies: ballet. Mistoffelees had always wanted to be a ballerina. But Deuteronomy being the old prune he was, said that Mistoffelees couldn't be a magician and a ballerina, so he gave the gift of ballet to Victoria instead.

"Hey, fruit cake, there's a Jellicle Meeting now..." Mistoffelees called to Victoria.

"Who are you calling a fruit cake, you midget!" Victoria glared at him.

"I'd rather be a midget, than a bimbo!!!!!!" Mistoffelees threw a rotten tomato in Victoria's face. (Author's note: Don't ask me where he got the tomato from, cause I have no idea)

Victoria in outrage mewed for her master. The giant came out.

"My precious little poopsie! What happened to you??" Then she spotted Mistoffelees with a wagon filled with rotten tomatoes. She chased away Mistoffelees with her broom. ¤BONK!¤

Back to the chase......

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bustopher ran for his life.

Plato was starting to tire from it. He staggered to the ground as Bustopher sped off without him.

"I'll... *pant*.... get you... *wheeze*.... make no mistakes....*pant, choke, wheeze* about it!!!!!!" Plato said as the world around him went black. (Author's note: He isn't dead, he's just sleeping)

Plato woke up after his drunken sleep. He had a huge hangover but he had sobered up.

"We have a Jellicle Meeting right now," Mistoffelees appeared out of thin air.

"Whoa... dude, do that again!" Plato was still dizzy.

"Ummm...???" Mistoffelees gave him a questioning look.

"You're, like, magic... and some junk... huh,huh,huh,huh," Plato started to laugh like Butthead. (Author's note: From Beavis and Butthead... you know, how he laughs in that... ewww, I don't even like to think about it....)

"Okay..." Mistoffelees got tired of Plato, and put a spell on him, but accidentally turned him into a chicken.

"Buck, buck, buck, bu-GAWK!!!!!" squawked Plato.

"Whoops," Misto shrugged and carried Plato with him.

Back to the Jellicle Junkyard....

"Attention! Attention please!" Munkustrap was trying to maintain order in the junkyard.

They weren't listening to him. They were more interested in what Kiki did at the mall. (Author's note: Who's Kiki, you ask? Well, if you don't know, then I guess no one does...)

"LISTEN UP YOU LILY-LIVERED BASTARDS!!!!! IF YOU DON'T LISTEN RIGHT NOW, I'LL TEAR OUT YOUR EYEBALLS AND I'LL EAT THEM FOR MY BREAKFAST TOMORROW!!!!" Munkustrap yelled like a mad man. That got them to shut up. "Well, what I wanted to announce was that our newly elected leader is Macavity," he said in his regular voice which was calm and rational.

And they all rejoiced: yay!

PART 4!!!!!

Read Part 2

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